Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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