It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
