you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
even my farts smell like vagina
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
