Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
