possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
