True but thats because hes a fetus.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
