She is in my trunk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
