Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
