What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
