She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
