i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
