Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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