just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
two words: eviction party
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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