i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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