My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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