i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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