One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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