: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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