now i know why i became what i already was.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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