Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
