I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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