i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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