im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
