Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
