508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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