talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
