Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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