What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
