Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
