im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
