11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize