We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
