i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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