he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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