I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
