Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
