I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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