4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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