My hair reeks of homosexuality.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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