walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
this will be a night to untag.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
