I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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