Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
