that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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