He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
