I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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