If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
