oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
