She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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