Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
