Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
