so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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